A process that is different for everyone. There are no rules other than the ones you make along the way. The key is to stay true to your values and express who you truly are . On an aeroplane you are told, if needed, to put an oxygen mask on yourself first so you have the strength to then assist others. This is a great metaphor for how to live life and especially a gay life when so many rules need to be broken in order to do it.
This can be one of the most significant hurdles in a gay persons life. It can also be one of the most rewarding outcomes of living your truth. The key is unlocking your own loving heart and demonstrating that the object of that love does not change its essence.
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John's life experience when combined with his formal training provides insights that enable a personalised approach with you in the recognition that all situations are very different.
Married for 20 years, two children now grown, a partner of 19 years, who also has three grown children, forms a foundation of compassion and individualised support for your unique circumstances.
You will encounter various acceptance levels and timings will also be different from individual to individual. Holding for yourself and your family is key. Go for what you 'stand for' not what you 'stand against' and when others capture the spirit of that the chances of them finding you again are increased.
Whether you are in one, want one or not, want to get out of one or transitoning to a new one, they are mirrors of you. Relationships are our greatest opportunity to learn about ourselves. The only relationship you are likely to have for the whole of your life is the one you have with yourself. Understanding yourself is key to understanding why you do or don't want a relationship. That understood, learning how to sustain a relationship with another is the next step.
Gay & Married
Many married people are troubled by same sex attraction. Sexuality is a continuum. It is not binary as popular belief would have us think. There are those who are born 100% gay and those who are born 100% heterosexual and there is everything in between. Where you fit in the spectrum is the first step to understanding what might be next for you. What will endure for you that brings the fulfilment you are looking for? On the other side of coming to terms with who we are can be renewed loving for you and your family, although it mightn't feel like this in the beginning. At a minimum, with the right tools you can heartfeltly support yourself and others through what can be a very challenging time for you, your partner, family and friends.